I Survived Too: Merger Day at ORD

When I booked this weekend's travel, a few months back, United had announced that it planned to merge all its systems with Continental's at end of business on Saturday, March 3. So I was pretty certain that by flying on Saturday afternoon I'd be in the clear.

Later, they switched up and announced that everything would merge overnight/early Saturday morning. So I prepped for disaster, leaving home on Thursday for ORD, ticket numbers documented offline, mileage balances recorded as proof, and reservations printed in hard copy. Saturday morning I tried to check in online, having totally forgotten to do so the previous night (rookie mistake!).

But online check in via iPhone app was broken. I tried on my laptop using the Continental-fied pss.united.com website. No dice. I'd have to go try a kiosk at the airport.

When I got the ticket lobby, I hit the nearest kiosk. It couldn't find my reservation. Not good. So I found the Premier Access 1K line, which only had about 10 people in it. The Economy & international check in lines were longer, but not horrible. And UA staff were out in force: greeting people, answering questions, and most of all, manning the ticket desks, with supervisors looking over their shoulders. The problems of the non-GUI HP SHARES system are documented elsewhere, but based on what I was seeing today at ORD, it didn't seem like there were major problems they couldn't handle on day 1.

Best of all, though, were the t-shirts UA ticket personnel sported, as seen in my photo above. The front said, "Merger Day One," and the back said: "I Survived."

I chatted with a service rep who said that while the scene wasn't too bad now (mid-day), the morning had apparently been horrendous. Lots of angry pax, confusion and broken systems. She also said that it was just as well that I had forgotten to check in online the previous day: all the people who had done so arrived at the airport to learn that their check ins were not in the system and they had to hit the ticket counters anyway.

One way or the other, when I made it to the counter, the agent found my res, gave me my boarding pass, and sent me on my way. By the time I got online here in the United Club, my current year and lifetime mileage balances had shown up in my MileagePlus account, along with my upgrade balance.

I logged in to the Club wifi network (the "T" in T-Mobile is for "tortoise") using my old MileagePlus number, not my new alphanumeric OnePass-ish number. Not everything has been updated yet, I guess.

First Class Legroom. Or Something.

Stumbled across this Southwest Airlines tv commercial from the early 1970s.

Enjoyable.

All the Single Ladies...

To the other female priority passengers out there:

You're not alone. But it might seem like it.

Next time you're in business class, waiting to board with the other priority customers, or hanging out in the lounge, take note of how many women there are in the vicinity. Don't count the ladies who are obviously there with their 1k husbands/lovers and are reaping the benefits of being on the same itinerary. I'm talking about the lone female road warriors. Not very many, are there?

I'm in the club right now, and I count four women (including me) out of 40+.

I have many theories about this (glass ceiling, family priorities, etc). Your thoughts?

Why Is Your Child on This Airplane?

I recently read a column that purported to advise parents how to deal with "child haters" who mistreat them just for bringing their kids on an airplane trip.

Excuse me? In a conversation a few years ago, my co-blogger Crosscheck said something that was like a revelation to me:

There is no reason for young children to travel on an airplane.

I have thought about this almost every time I've flown for the last several years. And after all that thinking about it, I have come to the following conclusion:

In the vast majority of cases, there is actually no reason for young children to travel on an aircraft (i.e., kids too young to understand the expectation of civil behavior). The exceptions would be the following:

• an ill child traveling to see a specialist for a severe disease; 

• a family paying its respects to a dying grandparent; or 

• a family relocating permanently across the country.

Otherwise? Why subject yourself to the agony of lugging all that crap around with you (strollers, diapers, wipes, formula, pacifiers, toys, books, video games)? 

Why subject other passengers to the avoidable interference in what is already a stressful pursuit (being cooped up in the tube in the sky)?

Why make the kids go through often-painful sinus compression and decompression (that they don't understand how to remedy), dehydration, and other deleterious effects of air travel? 

Just stay home, or take a driving trip, a train trip, or a boat trip.

Photo via Creative Commons 

The Territorialist

...that's what I'm calling the breed of jerk I encountered in the an international business seat next to me on a recent trip. This particular animal likes to mark his territory; don't be surprised if you catch him peeing in on the floor near his seat. Observed Territorialist behavior:

• Strategic overhead bin hogging
• Crowding the shared armrest/console area with drinks, menus, warm nuts etc
• Flailing limbs while "sleeping"
• Constant annoying requests from the FAs for special treatment

Ok dude, we get it. You're Global Services and you think you're the shiz. But if you're really so great, why weren't you in First?

Roll Aboard. Not Roller Board. Roll Aboard.

I just need to rant for a moment. 

FAs, GAs, pilots, first officers, and even million miler FFs all say something that really bothers me.

They say "rollerboard."

But think about it. You roll the bag aboard. You don't roller it. So use your brain power, exercise common sense, and say it right.

Rollaboard.

Roll. Aboard.

Rollaboard.

Thank you.

Now read this:

Reinventing the suitcase by adding the wheel (NY Times)

And this: Rollerboard or Rollaboard?

Rollerboard or rollaboard
Photo of people in Rome sporting rollaboard (and awkwardly-dangling fanny pack of all things) by Ed Yourdon via Creative Commons.

Now Boarding.....

Two forces have combined to overwhelm the boarding process on UA/CO for the last few weeks:

1. The pending merger has the GAs announcing every known combination of frequent flier achievement level possible across CO, UA, and the rest of Star Alliance; and
    
2. The ability to earn boarding priority by serving in the military (or by having the United Explorer Visa card) means a couple more groups at the gate.

So to save you the trouble of listening for your own group, just remember that this is the current order in which people may board:

• Uniformed military personnel and Global Services customers as well as Presidential Platinum Elite
• People traveling with squalling children, or people who need extra time to board, because they have four carry-ons
• 1K and Star Alliance Gold
• Premier Executive, Premier, Star Silver, Silver Platinum (Elite), 2K, Star Bronze, Copa Me Mucho, Star Platinum, Silver Elite Gold, and Premier Associates. Oh, and uninformed military personnel
• United Explorer Visa Card holders with checked bags or outstanding monthly balances
• Then, seating area 5

Questions?

Image via Creative Commons